'Shop Before You Drop'

The sign that hung over the fifteen cash registers reminded all shoppers of the rules of the game: ‘No elbowing, no fighting, no refunds.’

With only an hour left until the end of the Barney’s Warehouse Sale, it felt like a race to bag the next Lanvin dress or Marni trouser. Shoppers dragged plastic garbage bags filled with their finds, while others loaded their arms with clothing.

In the corner, women tore of their clothes without the slightest humility. They jostled and jockeyed for mirror space. They tossed unwanted clothes onto a long table behind them.

I felt my pulse racing. Within minutes, my girlfriend already had three dresses slung over her arm.

It was no time to be indecisive. I split from girlfriend, and weaseled my way past the racks labeled with women’s sizes and designer names, now irrelevant.

Piazza Sempione, L’Wren Scott and Michael Kors. I whizzed past the labels and focused on finding an XS dress or top. Fifteen minutes later, my patience paid off.

A paint-splattered white silk top from Gemma (worn by celeb Lauren Conrad, see below) was the ultimate in cool, relaxed New York chic. Even in a size M, the loose top didn’t look a bit oversized on me and my high-rise cigarette jeans.

But it was the white crepe Marc Jacobs scarf top which was the real deal breaker. Having seen one shopper try the top on, I raced to the back of the warehouse where I had seen a version of it in a size 6.

Once reunited with my girlfriend, we made a beeline to the register. Smug and satisfied with our picks, we guessed how much we would save from a 75% discount.

The cashier clicked past the computer prompts and I saw my $140 Gemma top (shown below on Lauren Conrad) drop to $44.50. My $539 Marc Jacobs blouse discounted to $135.

As for the sweet smell of shopping victory: Priceless.

-S. Gonzalez

*Photo courtesy of thehills4life.blogspot.com and racked.com